Why the Beatles being wrong saved my life.

          The Beatles lead the British invasion of American airwaves, and not only captured the heart of an entire generation, but became it's unofficial spokesmen as well. Their songs started out as pop rock boy band love songs, but overtime took more serious turns as they incorporated their views on politics and the world at large. They preached peace, love, and understanding, three things generally considered to be good and sorely lacking even today. So with a message like that, what were they wrong about and how did it "save my life". I'm simply referring to one line, of one song, that didn't apply to me. That line?
"All you need is love"...

Reality

          I am here to say that you don't need love. Let's ignore the whole science aspect of what is actually needed, like food, oxygen, water, etc., just as The Beatles had, and focus on everything else. According to the Fab Four, hippies, and most optimists, love and trust are the basis for all human interaction. If we all love and trust one another, then the world will be a better place. There will be no violence, no anger, no discrimination, no crime, no cruelty... we can all join hands and skip merrily under the eternal rainbow that will shine above us in this utopian world. Now you may call me a pessimist, but I consider myself a realist. I think this vision is completely unattainable. I was reared in a world built on greed, consumerism, and distrust of those around you.

Experience 

          But don't think my bleak world view is the product of the media that grasps ratings by reporting more on the negative than on the positive. No, my opinions are based more on personal experience. High school is where I was at my lowest. I was depressed, didn't have many friends, was picked on, laughed at, and bullied to the point where I began teasing the idea of suicide. I would sit in my room, with my pocket knife blade pressed firmly against my wrist, praying for the strength to just end it all. And that's when I found my solace, my new outlook on life that helped me through the worst years of my life. I didn't need love to see me through, in fact quite the opposite. All I needed, was hate. 

A gloomy disposition 

           I looked at the repercussions of my would-be actions, and how it would effect those who tortured me. My high school had a policy that should a student meet an early demise during the school year, then that's student's home room and "closest friends" would be allowed to attend the funeral and miss class. I knew two things, first I didn't have friends in my home room and second, I wouldn't be there to disprove those claiming friendship just to get a day out of school. So my hatred grew, and I couldn't allow those I despised to benefit from my "giving up". I also told myself that I was better than everyone there. That I would go to live life on my terms, and make my future happiness all the victory I needed. My hatred for my fellow students became the fuel that kept me going, and made me survive. So whether it's friends, family, celebrities, John, Paul, George, or Ringo trying to sell you that someone does care about you and that "all you need is love", I always have to laugh at such advice. Because I know that while I eventually found love later on in life, hate is what I needed then and is why I'm here today.

A new outlook on life

          As I said, I have found love late in life. While my depression still lingers, and will from time to time cause me to view every word spoken and every action of those around me as a slight against me, I deal with it. I bury the anger, because I know it's not real and is only in my mind. It's still overwhelming at times. It's like a superpower of mine, to take the slightest actions of others and use them to rationalize the fact that no one cares about me and the world is against me. It's my cross to bare, and one that I learn to live with more and more every day. But it has given me the strength to not let other's opinions effect me too much. Since I have to examine each and every comment and action as being an actual or imagined slight against me, I can just push them all away and not let them effect my judgement. That's why I'll never change my fashion sense (or lack there of), or shy away from choices in music, movies, and other aspects of pop culture. In my mind I have fought to become all that I am today. Nobody can take that away from me. Nobody can make me change who I am. And nobody, no matter how much they try and honestly care, can take away my hate and my pain. And I'm ok with that...